What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What should I do? I'm 17 and I'm dating a 23-year-old guy.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Is there a way to remove tar from my lungs?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Could some kind lady post me a photo of her hairy spread pussy? It has become extremely difficult to find new amateur photos and I would be infinitely grateful.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

TEXT:

If our normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, why do we perceive weather in the 90s as "hot?"

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I listened to Kamala Harris speech she gave in North Carolina. I support 100% of what she said. I am more and more in favor of a Kamala Harris presidency if Biden becomes unable to be our president! Do you find yourself supporting Kamala Harris now?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.